Songs I'll Never Write / Bands I'll Never Start

Your the worst person I know and I grew up with a murderer.
I want to shit where I eat.
If you want me to hate you, tell me you love me.
One day I'll die and take all my boring stories with me.
There aren't enough hours in the day when all I do is dick around.
One tit short of a picnic.
Why did I go upstairs?
My fair man.
God was nice to me yesterday.
Every Monday I feel poor.
The only solace I have is that I am wrong about everything.
I'm sorry Jesus, I hate Christmas.
It's hard turning ugly(er)
Why didn't God save me from Roger and Chase Bank.
I hate some of God's children
I'm not a dinner woman.
My cat's an old rag
My dog's an old rag
I'm an old rag
I'm an artist, but not amongst artists. I'm a businessman, but not amongst businessmen.
When I die I'll go to grandma's